A little note

Hello, I’m Benn, and I made this app.

I made it for you, but originally The Person I’m With was a personal project. I’m someone who has struggled a lot with anxiety, and I have done for most of my life. My wonderful partner, who has a PhD in trauma literature, could probably tell you exactly why that is. For me, it has often just felt baffling.

What are you supposed to do when you’re with someone wonderful, but still have days where it all feels wrong?

That exact problem has ruined things for me before. But as a designer, solving problems is kind of my job. So I got to work.

After a lot of trial, testing, reading, talking, and living through it, I realised something that genuinely shocked me: a lot of people feel like this. Fear, doubt, panic, uncertainty, even the sudden certainty that a break-up is needed — these things can show up inside adult relationships without meaning the relationship is doomed.

For me, that was a revelation.

The problem, I realised, was not always the feeling itself. The problem was that I was treating the feeling as a fact.

And facts are not best measured in one bad moment. They are better understood through patterns. What I really needed was a way to chart how I felt over time, instead of having a difficult day and letting that day decide everything.

That is where The Person I’m With came from.

It is a way to pause, check in, and notice the patterns beneath the panic.

And I’m happy to say, I’m still with my person.